Remember those hucksters selling salvation on television. That phenomenon probably started with Oral Roberts when I was just a kid. In fact, he started his radio ministry way back in 1947 and his TV outreach sometime in the mid 50s. Frankly, I don’t remember him (other than a vague sense of his appearance), though I have heard of his college. Most likely, I was tuned into The Lone Ranger and The Cisco Kid when he was trying to save this good Catholic boy from Satan’s snare … namely the Pope in Rome.

I first became aware of these grifters when they combined their religious pitch with right-wing politics several decades later, some more transparently than others. Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell somehow associated empathy for the poor with the work of Satan.

That’s odd when you think on it. If anything, Christ was the original socialist, if not Communist. He asked his would-be followers to give away their worldly goods to follow Him. He then reminded them that it would be easier for a wealthy man to pass through the eye of a needle than to enter the gates of heaven. I easily could respond to such a message, and did so as a young man.

Some of my favorite televangelists of the 1970s were Jimmy Swaggert and the power couple of Jim and Tammy Bakker, not that I could stand to watch any of them for more than a few minutes. Jim and Tammy started their TV based empire in the mid 1970s before expanding into theme parks and other the ventures in the 80s. I recall Swaggert discussing passages ftom the Bible with some lackey, always finding fault with the other’s interpretation. He needed to be right all the time I suppose. Excessive narcissism tends to run rampant among this crowd.

On the other hand, the Bakker’s did invoke empathic feelings for children suffering in far off places. That impressed me at the time. It struck me as Christ- like until it was revealed that very little of what they collected actually went to those in need. Like most of their kind, the bulk went to support the lavish lifestyles of the preachers and their top staff. Didn’t any of those  scammed ever see the movie Elmer Gantry?

Jimmy (Swaggert) and Jim (Bakker) ultimately ran afoul of man’s oldest demons … high testosterone levels and too nuch power. In Jim’s case it was an affair with a ministry secretary, and hush money to keep the dalliance secret. For Jimmy,  it involved substantiated rumors of liaisons with ‘fallen’ women. As I recall, Bakker eventually went to prison for swindling contributors to his various so- called charities.

Swaggert really struck me as a fraud. I yet recall him crying profusely as he begged his viewers to forgive his pecadillos. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he confessed his human weakness while claiming that Jesus had forgiven him. The tears probably were real, but my guess is that they were for his lost revenue stream.

To my knowledge, neither fully recovered his former glory though Jim Bakker perservered even after the scandals and a divorce from Tammy who became a minor celebrity in her own right.

Nevertheless, these scams continued unabated. A whole new generation is currently working hard at separating (or trying to) gullible viewers from their savings. Among them are Kenneth Copeland, Joyce Meyer, Paula White, and the appropriately named Creflo Dollar.

Copeland has argued that his fleet of private jets is most necessary to spread the good word and so has been blessed by Jesus in avoiding the hassles of air travel that we mere mortals must. Paula White is often seen in the White House providing counsel to the Donald himself. These are the last people I would support but that’s just me. I might think differently if I saw any of them doing a good work for the poor every once in a while, or even once.

Perhaps the leader of the current pack is Joel Osteen, the man with the perpetual smile. He has some 7 million weekly followers in the U.S. alone. His ministry rakes in millions, enough to support a lavish lifestyle that the potentates of old would envy. Estimates put his personal fortune at between $40 million and $180 million, mostly from book royalties, speeches, and related ministry activities. It is safe to say, he has not taken a vow of poverty.

TV evangelical preachers have evolved over the years. The first generation, heeding the advice of Billy Graham, steered clear of any overt political message. That began to change by the late 1980s, with explicit conservative messages dominating the pitches of the more successful messengers of God’s word.

Acceptance of Jesus suddenly was conflated with accepting a Republican message that, oddly enough, seemed totally at odds with the Son of God’s actual teachings. That the top man (in heaven) would endorse a political party dedicated to making the super wealthy even richer than they already were continues to baffle me. What happened to giving up worldly goods to follow Christ?

The current crop of snake oil salesmen (and women) has a slightly different twist to their spiel. The grace of God can come in a very tangible form … money. This crowd are often referred to as prosperity gospel preachers. The message may differ slightly across ministries but, at its core, the essential shtick is similar. If you believe in Jesus, and you pray hard, and (most importantly) you send your money into whichever ministry you are watching, you will be blessed. Even better, you will be blessed in a very tangible and meaningful way.

Thats right! Here we have a universe that stretches some 93 billion light years across (at least). We have this inconceivably  mysterious cosmos containing a minimum of 2 trillion galaxies along with an incomprehensible number of stars and planets. And yet, God is watching to see if you have sent your last dollar into some religious con man who has conflated personal greed with divine spirituality.

Pay attention! These prosperity preachers are not talking about you receiving some abstract notion of divine grace for your donation. They are talking about you enjoying tangible gifts from God, including hard cash if desired. The language likely is slippery but they often suggests a 3, 5, or even 7 fold return on your contributions, which hopefully are being made at least monthly.

The inference is beguiling. So as you give, so you will receive in return. But nothing for you if you selfishly spend what you have on things like food, or rent, or needed medicine. After all, maintaining a fleet of private jets ain’t cheap, and is more important than your petty needs.

That got me thinking. Those areas of the country where evangelical Christians predominate should be awash in God’s blessings. It just stands to reason that prayers so concentrated in areas dominated by the faithful must enjoy a special receptivity wherever such divine pleas go.

Think of it this way. Those areas that pray the most, and bless Donald Trump most fervently (after all, he was sent by the Lord), ought to enjoy bountiful monetary and related rewards.  Why wouldn’t Jesus favor His followers over the godless Democrats and especially the so-called Democratic- Socialists. Believers in Jesus and Trump should benefit from better health,  longer lives, safer communities,  and economic prosperity. After all, that is what the messengers from God tell them on a weekly basis. 

Now where exactly would those places where more of the faithful live be?

The two previous memes seem pretty clear. Those who both pray a lot and attend weakly religious services are more likely to live in the old confederacy or in the plain states that are clearly dominated by conservative politics. Perhaps the decision by televangelists to associate religion with hard right politics has paid off. Either the con artists knew their audience well or helped many otherwise susceptible folk to find their ideological and political home. Or perhaps both!

What we can say with some certainty is that practioners of both religious and political hucksterism stumbled over a simple truth. Each was in the same racket, selling hope that was not based in reality. By working together, they could deliver a winning message to their flock … a message that justified the true believers existing preferences and desires. Even better, that message demanded no thought, introduced no cognitive dissonance, and required no sacrifice. In fact, it offered an unbeatable deal.

The above graph is a bit difficult to discern. But this is what it tells me. Those sects that are rigid, fundamentalist, pentacostal, and permit little to no deviation from revealed truth tend to be the most conservative religiously. No real surprise here. People who need answers, not questions, and who are unsettled by nuanced thinking will gravitate toward those charlatans both in religion and in politics that deliver such soothing pablum. If you want a black and white world, they will give you that world. You want comforting words that reinforce your priors, you got it.

Now let’s look at overt political engagement. It is one thing to feel threatened all the time, an affliction from which the hard right suffers. It is another to engage actively in political battles. In the graph below we see members of non- fundamentalist groups being more active. They are more likely to proactively do something related to their normative belief set. Mainstream sects apparently believe that more than prayers and votes are necessary to do good

Mainline Protestants, non- Christians, and non- religious individuals tend to be more politically engaged. From this, I gather that members of the more conservative sects simply are too busy praying for the rapture where Christ would return to reduce non believers and most democrats into bloody messes. I never could accommodate the image of a vengeful Jesus with the prince of peace I grew up with.

On the other hand, the more conservative sects historically had eschewed politics, at least until the rise of the neoliberal activists in the 1980s. During the Reagan years, the hard right saw a huge payoff in an alliance with the political right. It was a match made in Heaven, or was it Hell.

Now, let’s try to follow the logic of prosperity preachers. You don’t have to get involved in actual politics to do good. No, you merely need to praise Jesus, give your money to those charged with spreading His gospel, and trust those obviously blessed by the lord. In case you are wondering, that would be Donald Trump and those chosen by the Donald or merely associated with him. Forget the pedophilia charges, the felonies, or how his policies have failed average Americans. Just look at how he has enriched himself while in office. Is that not convincing proof of God’s favor.

And so, I would expect that the states where God’s devotees are concentrated should be better off relative to places where most non- believers are located. Surely, the Southern bastions of fundamentalism will fare better  than where adherents of the black arts (liberals, socialists, and Democrats) congregate. Let’s take a quick look at some of the data.

According to the prosperity preachers, the followers of Jesus and Trump surely will live longer than those who worship false gods like Obama and Biden. But wait, the data doesn’t seem to support that. Children growing up in God’s paradise, the very conservative and faithful South, die demonstrably earlier than those in Blue states.

There might just be an obvious answer to this conundrum. Perhaps Jesus is so pleased with his most faithful followers that he wants to bring them to heaven sooner than would be expected. On the other hand, perhaps He should first check with the preferences of his flock on that.

Surely, though, Jesus will reward conservatives disproportionately during their time in earth. After all, they have done what has been asked of them. They have prayed more diligently, have given over their scarce dollars to God’s chosen representatives on earth, and dutifully voted for God’s own party … the Republicans. They have even worn those silly MAGA hats 😜 .

But no! When you look at the most financially distressed states (based on numerous metrics) all of the worst are deep red, Southern states. Do you think Jesus might be testing His followers, much like Job was tested in the Old Testament?

Of course any analyst worth his salt would be aware of the ecology fallacy. Perhaps it is the non-believers and Democrats in these states who are doing really bad. This would lower the median performance for all, making it look like Jesus is not rewarding His most passionate followers. Perhaps!

Let’s look at another metric that taps just how well off the populations of various states might be. The following table tells us something about the relative performance of states in keeping families financially afloat. In the left-hand volume we see the states that are doing well. In the right column are those doing poorly. With a few exceptions, the states doing well are blue (more liberal), or near blue. On the other hand, those with the highest poverty rates (numbers 31 to 60) are overwhelmingly red.

The pattern continues when other metrics are examined. The share of babies born to unmarried mothers is also concentrated in Republican states, colored either orange or red in the graphic below. Similarly, though not exactly, the use of public food assistance tends to be located in the Southeast. That is, both the incidence of struggling families and the use of public supports is higher in those very places where it shouldn’t be if the tenets of the prosperity gospel were valid.

But here the prayers from the faithful perhaps are being answered. The Republicans are slashing SNAP benefits. Exactly how that will help the poorest families is not exactly clear. In the conservative mind, that makes sense somehow. The sinful must suffer. Perhaps faith alone will do the job. After all, didn’t Elon Musk himself say that empathy was the biggest danger to the Western world? Somehow, the more passionate followers of Christ have pivoted 180 degrees away from the original message of Jesus. How convenient!

Let’s go after the issue from the opposite direction. Let us look at more global assessments of well- being. Below we examine overall state performance, first from a simple table that ranks each state from best to worst. The table aggregates 31 metrics which, taken together, arguably gives us a pretty good picture of overall well-being.

As with other rankings, the highly religious, conservative states dominate the bottom of this ranking. Once again we find Louisiana, West Virginia, Mississippi, Alabama, Kentucky,  Arkansas, South Carolina, Tennessee, and so forth struggling mightily. The good states tend to be either Blue or a few sparsely populated plain states where more cows than people live.

Perhaps the graphic below lays out the relationship between religiosity and well-being a bit more clearly. On the vertical axis is the well-being scale with the better off states being positioned higher on that scale. The horizontal axis captures religiosity. States positioned further right are more religious according to our standard metrics.

The association is not perfect but it is pretty clear that liberal, blue states congregate on the upper left (low religiosity but higher well-being). On the other hand, the high-religiosity but low well being states congregate on the lower right. That is, our usual suspects wind up where you might expect given our other results presented earlier.

Nothing marks the conservative heaven like everyone having guns. It fits the individualistic myth of each person taking care of themselves without any damn government help. Surely, Christ would have sported a military grade automatic weapon if they had been available back then. Besides, every right- winger knows that guns save lives.

But, of course, they don’t. If you look at gun related deaths, normed based on population differentials, we see the same pattern. The American holocaust of guns violence is once again located in the south: Mississippi,  Alabama, Louisiana,  Arkansas, Tennessee,  Missouri, S. Carolina, and Kentucky being among the worst. A few other plain states are scattered among the bottom dwellers but you get the picture.

Now we get the the crux of my confusion. Why do those areas disproportionately populated by God’s so-called chosen fare so poorly. After all, those claiming to love Jesus so passionately, and who pray to Him so fervently, ought to be rewarded for such overt displays of faith. Even if the the faithful are getting their 7- fold reward in additional treasure as promised by the televangelists, why are they stuck living with so many liberal and woke losers who drag down the state’s overall performance? Perhaps this mystery would be answered if I watched these con artists perform their auditory magic.

Could the answer lies elsewhere? Think about it for a moment. The most fervent believers in Jesus also remain devoted to the very person in our public life who rejects their savior so completely. While conservatives dismiss Donald’s sins with cavalier indifference, the rest of us have a harder time doing that. We actually believe in virtuous behaviors.

Sarcasm aside, there is a conundrum to be resolved. Why do the most fervent practioners of religion idolize a person who rejects Christ’s message so completely. Many of us can recall the time when Evangelicals, Pentacostals, and other such devoted believers in Jesus rejected former President and lifelong Baptist Jimmy Carter.

Here was a public figure who actually lived his spiritual beliefs, in both his public and his personal lives. Into his 90s, he was still living quite simply and still using his time and energy to help the disadvantaged by building Habitat for Humanity homes. How could anyone follow Christ’s message more faithfully? Yet, conservatives attacked him without mercy.

Finally, a thought experiment. Let’s say the most faithful among us, those who pray a lot and send in their money to God’s self described messengers, decide they want to find their heaven on earth.

Most likely, they will want to locate where other God-fearing people reside. That makes sense. So, they rationally would choose states where large numbers of (for example) Evangelicals already live. It is human nature to want to be with others that share our values and perspectives.

Here is the problem, though. From the above meme, we can see that Christian conservatives sadly concentrate in those very places where life is especially difficult. Perhaps fervent prayers might work better in the future but, to date, the results have been more than disappointing. It is almost as if the true believers have been led astray. Heaven forbid!

What other choices might our true believers consider. Well, if they value low crime, non-existent violence, high trust in their neighbors, compassion toward those struggling economically, accessible and affordable medical help, top educational opportunities, and governments that work to the benefit of all (and not merely the rich), they might consider one of the above countries. That is assuming they cannot bring themselves to move to a blue state in America where they would be surrounded by unmentionable woke types who, of all things, want to help people.

These foreign alternatives are the places that annually score high on the international hedonic scales measuring average or median happiness levels. Yup, these are the places that provide those environments for which our most religious Americans presumably pray to live in. But I don’t see them packing anytime soon.

Why, you ask? Here’s the irony. Formal religious affiliation is virtually non existent in these places. It is as if prayer and belief have little or nothing to do with virtue. Hmm! I wonder how Joel Osteen would explain away that anomaly.