Here’s the thing. I’m prepping for my colonoscopy later today. Yes, more information than you wanted, I know. Nevertheless, it is difficult to balance a laptop and be creative while sitting on the male throne. So, I will entertain you with a few bad jokes.

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Three Nuns. Three nuns were talking. The first said, “I was cleaning Father’s room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines.”

“What did you do?” The other nuns asked. “Well, of course I threw them in the trash.”

The second nun piped up, “Well, I can top that. I was in Father’s room putting away the laundrey and found a bunch of condoms.”

“Oh my,” the other two nuns gasped. “Did you throw them in the trash as well.”

“I thought about that. Then I decided it would teach him a lesson and poked small holes in all of them.”

At that, the third nun fainted.

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Wonder Pill. a man goes to the doctor with twitching fingers and a bad stutter. He finally manges to say, “doc, I have a probem with sexual performance, can you help me?”

“Oh, that’s not a problem anymore,” says the doc. “They just came out with this wonder pill that does the trick. You take the pills and your problems are history.” The doc then gives the man a prescription and sends him on his way.

A couple of weeks later, the doc runs into his patient on the street.

“Doctor, doctor,” yells the man excitedly, “I’ve got to thank you. This drug is a miracle. I’ve had sex 22 times in the past 10 days!”

“That’s great,” the doc responds, “and what does your wife think about it.”

“Wife? Oh, I haven’t made it home yet.”

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Milk Bath. A blond heard that baths in milk would make her even more beautiful. So, she called a local dairy farm and left an order for 25 gallons of milk.

When the dairy farmer read her note, he felt there must be a mistake. She probably meant 2.5 gallons and someone wrote it down wrong. So, he called her to clarify things.

When the blond answered, he said “I got your order for 25 gallons but surely you meant 2.5 gallons.”

“No,” the blond corrected him, “I want at least 25 gallons. I’m going to fill my bath tub with millk and take a bath in it. That way I can stay young and beatiful.”

“Okay,” the farmer then asked, “do you care if it is pasteurized?”

“No, not really,” the blond replied. “I just need it up to my boobs. I can splash some on my eyes if needed.”

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Yes, I am ashamed and will go stand in my corner.

Just a heads up, I may not stay with a daily blog which, as you can imagine, is a lot of work. I told several neighbors who asked about this daily grind. I lied and told them I have an addiction to writing. True, I do enjoy the writing process but the real reason is that it gives me an excuse to avoid cleaning the house or going out to get some exercise.

Alas, I can’t avoid those things forever.