Al Franken, one of my favorite public figures, commented on the most recent U.N. report suggesting that the globe put its collective affairs in order since we are all going to die soon. Like our friend the dinosaur, who went extinct suddenly after an unfortunate collision with an asteroid, we are on the precipice of a similar fate due to anthropogenic (human caused) global warming.

His perceptive take on the issue is that many Americans, especially baby boomers, feel like they are lucky enough to be on the ‘last chopper out of Saigon.’ They will die just in time, before the apocalypse becomes reality. Such a clever man.

For those of you too young to recall party line phones that were tied by a cord to the wall, the ‘last chopper out of Saigon’ references the embarrasing and hasty retreat of the American military and their South Vietnamies allies as the NVA and the Vietcong swarmed into the South’s capital in 1975 and toward their inevitable triumph. Those on the chopper escaped ‘just in time.’

To mercilessly beat this analogy into the ground, baby boomers and those even older (like the ancient fart writing this post), can smile in the face of doom. We likely will die before the inevitable collapse of civilization into toasty cinders. We will have boarded the last chopper to whatever comes next. So, do we have a dog in this fight? Since I was raised as a Catholic, I am wrought with guilt and therefore feel some reponsibility in this matter. Catholic guilt is a terrible thing … avoid it like the plague.

It is not like we have not been warned. I mean, the dinosaurs were caught by surprise. Over a century ago, there were reports in our major neswpapers that fossil fuel use was releasing dangerous amounts of CO2 into the atmosphere. Now, we have irrefutable scientific evidence of our complicity in our species’ doom. Carbon dioxide emissions grew very gradually over time until the early 1940s (when I was born though I don’t think their is a causal thing going on here). After that, they increased exponentially and now imminently threaten the homeostatic status of our atmosphere that has kept temps relatively stable for eons. Soon, very soon, the game will be over, the last chopper will have left.

Our collective teponse to doomesday? We worry about March Madness, Prince Harry’s relationship to the Royal Family, Hunter Biden’s laptop, and whether Aaron Rodgers will play for the Packers next year. Really? Give me a f#@king break!

I am freaking glad I’m on the last chopper out of Saigon. I don’t want to be around when the ice caps melt and astonished politicians point fingers and say ‘but no one told us.’ We have known for a long time and chose not to respond. Shame on us!

…………………………………………………

PS: An old Peace Corps buddy of mine has written a scholarly book on the topic. Climate Policy Foundations, William C. Whitesell, Cambridge Press, 2011). He writes useful books, unlike me.